The Midnight Ride of… Twihards

Twihards are entertaining people. I mean that with as much
respect and love as I can muster, honestly!

For those of you not up-to-date on the lingo, a “Twihard” (a combination of the words Twilight and Die-Hard) is an “obsessive fan of the Twilight Saga series of books by Stephenie Meyer and the film adaptations. Twihards embrace all things Twilight with religious zeal, …” (definition thanks to Urban Dictionary).

Why are they entertaining? Because they bring the fun of a midnight movie release back (it’s like bringing sexy back, but with more shrieking).

My friend and I have attended all of the Twilight movie releases on opening weekend, if not opening night. It’s become our little tradition. To clarify, we don’t care for the movies. We attend the movies to see how bad they can possibly get. It’s a noble goal, to be sure, and we have not yet failed in our mission of laughter and mockery.

The most recent movie release, however, trumped them all. It was the best movie of the series, in my oh-so-humble opinion, but the Twihards might have been my favorite part.

Sitting in front of a row of moms (not Twihards, but the parents of Twihards) who had brought their daughters (I hope it was their daughters, though I guess it could have been their sons…) children to see the 10:00 p.m. premier was an epic decision. Hearing phrases like “what the hell is this crap!” and “no one acts like that” being uttered from a group of moms during a movie that they elected to bring their children to was a highlight in my movie-going career.

Then there were the young women people in the audience that gave Jacob a standing ovation when he stripped. That was a new one for me. I have heard cheering in theaters, but a standing ovation during the film, that was a bit extreme (and I’m sure it was annoying to those sitting behind the ovationers).

But my personal favorite was the girl two seats away from me. When … SPOILER ALERT … Carlisle’s head is ripped off, she, quite literally, shrieked. The gentleman (I shall assume he was a boyfriend) that was with her, “shushed” her, but to no avail. The damage had been done and my laughter was eternal. Yes, it was a traumatic part, but a bloodcurdling cry was a bit extreme. I mean, you know that part doesn’t happen in the book*, therefore it (probably) won’t actually remain that way in the movie and some sort of cinematic hocus-pocus (typically called a plot) and skullduggery (sometimes referred to as CG) will correct the anomaly.

*Did I just admit to reading the books? Indeed I did. I feel no shame in that for I am of the opinion that you shouldn’t judge/mock a book without reading it. As I have read the books, I can judge/mock accordingly.

Oh, in case you were curious: I’m Team Edward when reading the books and Team Jacob when watching the movies.

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