Olive Oil on the Inside & on the Out

LORELAI GILMORE: Hello, Miss Celine. You look wonderful.
MISS CELINE: Olive oil on the inside and on the out. Anna Manana taught me that.

The first 87 times I heard this classic Gilmore Girls line, I didn’t think anything of it (that figure is probably not too far off either). Then I found a “recipe” (for lack of a better term) and I understood what she meant…

Lemon Sugar Scrub:

2 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 tablespoons lime juice (or lemon, if you like)

Mix together until it achieves the texture you desire.

Simple, yet lovely. Use generously in a warm shower and your skin will love you. Feel free to tweak this little gem as much as you like, I won’t be offended and I’m sure Miss Celine won’t either.


I Don’t Speak So Goodly

So here’s the thing, sometimes I don’t speak as well as I probably should. I mean, I have bachelor’s degrees in three different forms of communication (public relations, communications, and journalism, in case you were curious); I should be able to tell a story, right? Clearly, I can’t.

Here’s my story about telling a story and how it came back to bite me in the ass.

I was recently on vacation with my family and, while eating breakfast one morning, we were discussing politics. An odd source of breakfast conversation for some families, but we don’t tend to fight over politics, so it was safe enough.The Republican National Convention had just happened, so it made sense. In the course of this conversation, I told a story about seeing a photo of our First Lady. This story has haunted me ever since I told it. So, I’m going to use my humble blog (and enjoy my second cup of coffee) to clear my name and the point of my story.

This is how my story SHOULD have gone…

I once saw a photo of our First Lady that made me a little sad for my country. That sounds a bit harsh, but here is why. It was a photo taken from the back of our First Lady, as well as the first ladies of France and Spain. The first ladies of Spain and France looked perfect, pristine even. They were both wearing tailored suits and their hair was perfect. They were clearly going to an important conference. Then there was our First Lady. She was not in tailored anything, her hair was done, but done well, and next to these two pristine women, she looked… frumpy.

And that should have been the end of my story.

However, that isn’t how it went. Somewhere in the middle of this tale, I believe I said something along the lines of “Our First Lady looked like a size 14 next to these two size twos.”

*Sigh* Have you ever said something that you regretted instantly. The moment the period at the end of the sentence left my lips, my first thought was, “Aw s*%t.” I didn’t mean that sentence at all  like it sounded.  All I meant was that she looked frumpy by comparison and it made the U.S. a point of ridicule (mocking the U.S. was the point of the photo when I saw it). But, as their size wasn’t the point of the story, I shouldn’t have said anything about it. Her size doesn’t mean a thing to me! She could have been a size 14 (which she isn’t) and looked better than the other first ladies if she had tried. She (typically) isn’t frumpy at all. She is (normally) well dressed and looks lovely. I, however, like an idiot, spoke before I thought and implied something that I didn’t intend. …Fail.

And the worst part is, those who heard me tell this story probably didn’t give it a second thought. Me, I stayed awake half the night (for two nights straight) thinking about it. I do that a lot. I over-think things that don’t need to be over thought. In this instance, I thought about how I probably offended someone listening to me babble. I thought about how I must have seemed judgmental and superficial to my family. I thought about how much I wished I hadn’t brought up the photo because it was a stupid subject that didn’t follow four simple rules I try to live by (i.e. ~ is it the truth, is it fair, does it build others up, is there a point). And best of all, I thought about how I was over thinking the situation. It’s an annoying habit.

So, to all those who heard this story first hand and who I might have offended, I’m truly sorry! It wasn’t my intent. I spoke foolishly and I was out of line. For those who heard this story first hand and I didn’t offend, please don’t laugh at me too hard for stressing about this so much.


“I try to live in the now, where old ghosts do not apply.” ~ Captain Nemo