A Fickle Mistress

“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”

~from J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan

Sentiment. It’s a fickle mistress. I’m not the most sentimental person but I’m not a brick wall either. I used to be, but that’s another story. As of late, however, I have found myself forced into a sort of reverie about change, which has caused my sentiment. I have a love/hate relationship with how this sort of reflection feels. I’m not quite sure what to do with it… hence “fickle mistress.” ….just in case the metaphor was too labored for you….

“To live will be an awfully big adventure.”
~from J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan

An old friend has recently reentered my life. After years of separation, it was life a breath of fresh air to have that friendship back. We have both grown a great deal and it has made our renewed friendship stronger. But the same day I got her back is the day that I found out that she is leaving soon. Though we will still be friends, it won’t be quite the same. It’s like have a comfy blanket suddenly ripped off your shoulders on a cold day.

And a friend of four years has also recently left me (well, left my geographic location). Since meeting her during her senior year of high school, she has become a friend and sister and I will miss her dearly. Saying “goodbye” was a bit like the sadness at ending a good book where the characters are so real you know what their voices sound like.

So what do these two lovely ladies have to do with my sentiment and reverie? Their recent and eminent departure from the area has caused me to ponder my relationships and how important they have become to me. They are important enough that it hurts my heart. There was a time that I thought this was a bad thing, a weak thing. Now, I think it’s a real thing. It’s real to feel something. It’s real to feel connection and emotion.

Though I’m thrilled with the paths their lives are taking, I’m envious of those they will soon meet… I fear being replaced. Though I’m excited for the next stages of their lives, I’m sad to say goodbye to friends so dear… what if things aren’t they same.

Don’t misunderstand; I’m not scared of change. But like any thrilling book or epic film, I’m not ready for something great to end. Though I know something awesome is just waiting to be read or watched, saying goodbye to the characters I so love and care for isn’t easy.

“For to have faith, is to have wings…”
~from J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan

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  1. * Nicolle says:

    Well said. I feel like that after a good book and it is the perfect way to describe the parting of friends.

    | Reply Posted 5 years, 10 months ago
  2. * Lara Hillenberg says:

    So well put Lynette! So well put! Learning to appreciate people and relationships is hard but rewarding work.

    | Reply Posted 5 years, 10 months ago

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